To Pee or Not To Pee

To pee or not to pee outside the litter box. This is the question that goes through the minds of my cats, to my dismay.

My cats believe there is a good reason to pee outside their litter boxes. I have politely explained
that there is no reason on earth that they would need to leave their odiferous markings anywhere else.

They promptly referred me to a book written by cats titled "I Could Pee On This".

Wait a minute....who taught cats to write?  And who taught my cats to read?  Not I.

From "I Could Pee On This" and other poems by cats author Francesco Marciuliano:

Her New sweater doesn't smell of me
I could pee on that
She's gone out for the day and left her laptop on the counter
I could pee on that
Her new boyfriend just pushed my head away
I could pee on him
She's ignoring me ignoring her
I could pee everywhere
She's making up for it
By putting me on her lap
I could pee on this
I could pee on this


The photos here show three of my cats who are definitely guilty of the crime. They each seem to
feel that my entire house is their territory for marking. The most effective remedy is bannishing them to the 3 car garage (of course no cars in it). But if pee happenes, the second best remedy is putting Organic Cat Litter on the spot, letting it soak in, and then vacuuming it up. I came across this home remedy when I was away for a week and my boyfriend at the time resorted to putting my new silk dress and coat in the kitty litter following an accident. Thank God I wasn't here, because I would have flipped out watching him do this seemingly insane procedure. But much to my surprise, the clothes were stainless and odorless folowing the kitty litter bath. I was about to throw these beautiful clothes away before this miracle. I took them back to the dry cleaners to freshen them up, and the cleaner was amazed at the results. He had thought that there was no way to save my silks.

I have also used Feliway cat pheromone (don't we all need them sometimes) to help cats feel relaxed and safe in their territory. Nothing worse than a pissed off cat pissing up a storm over territory wars!

So for now, I've hidden the book of poems. We know they can read, so I will no longer tempt them with the power of suggestion.

So after running around with pheromone spray in my house and their large indorr/outdoor kitty condo I said " that's it we all get along everywhere, or else". They seem to have shaped up, perhaps it was me talking about cats that use toilets and that was next.

 And if anyone knows of any robots that can toilet train cats, please let me know.

Top Dog

If we settled our differences like dogs and cats, forgetting and forgiving easily, would our world be a better place?

Last night my two medium sized dogs (Welsh Terrier and Corgi/American Eskimo mix) got into a tussle over dominance.  It seemed to be a dispute over who was top dog.  The two dogs were biting one another and fighting very aggressively.   I didn’t know how to stop the fight without being bitten.  It totally freaked me out, and I couldn’t help but think that one of them might hurt the other.

The dogs seemed to be filled with adrenaline, with their sole focus on winning the fight.  My efforts to stop them were futile.  I threw water, screamed, and threw small objects in an attempt to separate them, but nothing fazed them.  In those frenzied moments, it was clear that they had lost all objectivity.

But within minutes, the fight was over.  Each dog went to a different side of the backyard, to their own corners, so to speak.   Within five minutes of being apart, they were back in the center of the yard together, playing affectionately.  There was no longer anger.  There were no grudges.  The rest of the night was very peaceful. 

I have witnessed similar situations with my cats.  They sometimes fight over territory and dominance, but they wisely give wide berths to those with whom they are temporarily in conflict, and they forget and forgive quickly. 

Isn’t the planet big enough for all us to do that?  Yes, we will have our differences, but isn’t there room for all of us to eat, pee, and sleep where we feel safe?  

How often do we lose our objectivity in the heat of a moment?  When adrenaline runs through our body and we have the urge to fight, can we learn to forgive and forget before we act out a dispute?  Do we really need automatic weapons?  Do we have to kill to win?

In the President’s Inaugural speech on Monday, he reminded us of the following:  “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights that among these are life, Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”   Why, then, do we feel justified in fighting and judging our foes who don’t see it our way?  Do we think we are better, smarter or more deserving?

 Isn’t it time we learn to forgive and forget as easily as our animal friends?

“Miss Guided”….friend or foe?

I had the most wonderful day yesterday. I drove from San Diego to Los Angeles to visit three fabulous cousins I hadn't seen in twenty-five years.  What a delight!   My cousins are terrific and I had a great time with them. 

I have plenty of experience driving all over San Diego and Orange Counties, but not Los Angeles.  But I felt quite confident with my trusty but rebellious GPS at my side.   I have nicknamed her  “Miss Guided” when she gives me proper directions, and * “Misguided” when she sends me on a wildly wrong-way adventure, or so it seems at the time. 

To be extra cautious, I printed MapQuest directions to compare to Miss G’s guidance.  I use Miss G quite a bit locally, and have grown accustomed to her repeatedly telling me to turn around and make legal u-turns.  I was hopeful that she would be quite helpful in the unfamiliar expansiveness of Los Angeles. 

After High Tea with my cousins, I got into my car and activated the command to “go home”.  While waiting for “Miss Guided” to map my route, I called a cousin on my blue tooth device to tell her about the get together. From that moment on, when “Misguided” spoke to me, she and I ended up arguing.  "Where are you taking me, why turn here, where are we?" and "OMG I think she is crazy" comprised the first ten minutes of my argument with the talking machine.  My cousin is of course howling with laughter that I am arguing with my GPS.  I try to explain to her that I must be excused briefly to talk to this voice that is sending on odd streets.  " But we didn't come this way, why highway 10 and then 60?” And “seriously, are you taking me to Palm Springs?"   My cousin is laughing so hard she can barely speak as I rant and rave with Miss G.  Finally “Miss Guided” wins and she gets me to Highway 5.  I thanked her for the circuitous route home and promptly turned her off.

My Irish nature has gifted me with a birthright of wanting to buck the system.  But seriously, arguing with someone who isn't real!  Hmm.  I wonder how many of us have declared our GPS to be terrific when helpful but a pain in the ass when they are not.  Is it only those of us who are Irish?

After the experience with “Miss Guided”, I recalled previously giving a San Diego address to “Misguided” and her repeatedly stating that there was no such address.  After several attempts, I consulted a USA map and realized that “Misguided” was giving me directions for Baltimore, Maryland.  And yesterday when inquiring about Santa Monica Boulevard, “Misguided” gave me directions to New Jersey.  Thank heavens I didn’t listen.   I would still be driving!

Almost at my house I saw two double rainbows at different locations, I must be doing something right with Miss Guided.

It was great to get home to my four-leggeds.  Upon my return, they wagged their tails, licked my hands, and were ready to play.  Thank heavens they didn’t want to talk (or argue)!

* Marcia Q Neel coined this word in 2003